RESPECTFUL PARENTING

I’ve been meaning to open this blog to video content, videos that have calming content. Calming enough to mediate on and you can also learn from, so today’s the day I introduce you to a video a few months ago.

ENJOY!

Until next time, stay blessed loved and highly favored.

LESSONS LEARNED FROM NETFLIX SHOW “LOVE IS BLIND”.

If you haven’t seen the show that has everyone hooked on Netflix, then I invite you out of your rock and watch this brand-new reality brought you by Netflix.

I was hooked instantly; I feel in love with the concept of falling in love and getting engaged before even setting your eyes on the person. As a single woman, this is music to my ears, and as a BLACK single woman this is an orchestra to my ears serenading me to music pleasure. In simple terms I loved every episode and I’m not shy in admitting I watched again (four times).

Very rarely I learn from the shows I watch, so when I do, I ask myself “why”? Love is Blind has taught several things about myself and I would like to share with you those things, maybe the show has also taught you something about yourself.

  1. YOU NEED TO BE READY: (SPOILER ALERT) If you haven’t seen the finale, then you need to pause this watch it and come to this video and hear this. Both Amber Pike and Lauren Speed were ready for Matt Barnett and Cameron Hamilton, Lauren told her friends she had prayed for Cameron and Amber was ready to settle down after years of living just for herself. They were ready for the commitment of inviting someone else into their lives for good.
  2. Barnett and Cameron were both ready too: They both had their own places, although Barnett’s place was just a one bed property. Amber was happy to start life there and move on whenever the kids turned up. Cameron on the other hand had a whole 3 bed house; he was ready to be a husband and start a family. Guys, women want to see this- vision. Someone who has vision for the future, unlike the other three yes, they have jobs, but they never showed us their prospective homes. Where are you moving the girls guys? At least Mark was brave enough to show Jessica his flat share, but he shouldn’t have bothered. Really Mark? A flat share, will Jessica move in with you?  
  3. All connections were based on where each person was in life, if your vibe is just to have a good time chances are the “Barnetts” and “Camerons” are wasted on you. Why Mark and Jessica never got married because they both were not ready for marital commitment. They seemed to only want to have a good time, Giannina and Damien seemed ready, but were they?  They seemed they were well suited but needed more time in their relationship but Giannina was not ready to commit to such an adult relationship.
  4. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF: Lauren and Amber were both true to who they were and got their men. So did the other ladies, but it both Lauren and Amber that taught me to accept who you are the way you are, and “your” person will accept you too. In simple terms, be yourself ALWAYS.
  5. PRAY FOR YOUR PERSON: It’s your person, that’s it. Cameron is for Lauren and Barnet is for Amber and vice vasa. You want to get married, pray for the person who will specifically fit into your life. I can honestly say I cannot handle Cameron’s affections or Barnet’s indecisiveness.

That’s its guys, the 5 lessons Love Is Blind has taught me. Hope you enjoyed this new format of videos; I’m trying something different on this channel.

Please subscribe I’m planning on introducing scripted content and I wouldn’t want you to miss any of them. Please share, like it helps me a lot to get noticed and comment what you liked about the content.

Until next time

Stay blessed, loved and favored

SELF DOUBT!!!

DAMN!!! I always do this, I always start strong and then……, BLANK! Nothing, I stop uploading, I stop creating and most importantly I stop sharing. I honestly believe that noone cares, to read or to follow.

So I took a time out for nearly a year, it was unplanned but I wanted to truly be sure that this is my space.

I have and I am now committed to this space, how that sounds like a “I want you back”. Anyways, there are changes to this blog. And that is the obvious name change and logo; I present to you “Kingdom Mama”. It’s still Wambui Kibira writing this but now I want to hand over this platform to the awesome hard working women known as the Christian mums. I want to have a space where Christian mums have a space where they can tap into the well of God so that they can continue their calling in raising their children with Godly standards.

So, what I’m trying to say is that I want this space to be more about Christian mums than myself. I want this space to be about us.

Hence why I am keeping this short, but in the meantime why not subscribe to the Kingdom Mama and make sure you are also following me on Instagram (The Kingdom Mama), I post alot of encouraging posts and affirmations.

Until next time,

Stay blessed, stay beautiful and stay happy.

Wambui xoxo

Let’s talk about it.

I have a son…a black son. Though he is only 2 years old watching this Netflix series pained my soul. I knew about this case back in 2016 when President 🙄 Donald Trump declared his interest in running for office. I remember being angry then, and when the words that I read 3 years ago became live; that anger came back. It’s been a week since the feature aired on Netflix and I’ve been crying since and even had nightmares if that was my son.

It seems dramatic and for some of you who choose to read my words, scary. But this is our reality, that one black boys will grow up in a society where they will be seen not only as thugs but as blood thirsty monsters who are only out to do harm than good. These are the same people who will quote Martin Luther King Jr’s famous “I had dream” speech, but not the ENTIRE speech- because I guarantee they wouldn’t quote the whole speech from start to finish. These are the same people that will blindly convince themselves that these 5 boys had something to do with the rape in question. They would refuse to accept that the evidence does not place the young innocent boys in the crime scene. That even a novice police detective new to his/her job would have found these 5 boys innocent.

What happened to these young boys 30 years ago, was sad and painfully unbelievably real. How the head of a rape detective unit went on a mob justice like witch hunt to find justice for the poor white woman. They were feed into an hungry pack of wolves, and because of their innocence they were pull apart into pieces by a justice system that does not care about them or their families. And to imagine that the prosecutor- Elizabeth Lederer, who praises herself as a highly intelligent, extremely detail oriented, superbly organized attorney. Most definitely saw that this boys were innocent. But she couldn’t lose, she wasn’t going to lose. So together with Linda Fairstein, decided that these young innocent boys were guilty and will make the little shred of evidence they have fit each and every glove for the boys wear. This was undoubtedly a witch hurt.

What makes it worse is how both women went on to have successful careers, Linda Fairstein a best selling author 🙄 and Elizabeth Lederer went on to become a Law lecturer. All while these boys were in prison serving time for a crime they didn’t commit and refuse to admit to.

What this case has taught me is how far society is willing to judge a person by their character. These boys came from good homes, but not the police, the prosecuting lawyers, the judge, the jury and the media saw that. What they saw were thugs, they made them to look like they hated white people and that’s why they raped the woman. All this because they possibly couldn’t be bothered to look for the rapist- which by the way confessed to the rape. But Linda and Elizabeth still to this day believe the boys were involved in the gruesome rape.

I fear I will have to teach my son that the world in which he was born in, does not favour his success and that he will have to work twice as hard and as fast as his white peers. And that the system he was born and bred in was never created for him or his sister. Just because a group of people think of you as a thug and no good, you must remember as long as you have breath every morning then God has a good good plan for you. Hold your head up, and rise above the hate and live the life your maker wants you to live. But also remember do not at any means necessary give racist people a reason to think you as a thug.

“Obama” 😆😉 their racial bais up.

Until next time,

Stay positive, stay humble, stay encouraged.

Wambui xoxo

Why I chose writing.

I wasn’t going to write anything this week. Then I thought about why I write, why I even started writing in the first books. At first I thought the answer will be because it has always been a dream of mine to write short stories for my peers.

Granted when I had this dream I was in fact 7 years old, so it was only natural to want to write for my peers now as an adult. But this decision for writing came after two children, and upon realising that my children do not have books with brown faces just like their’s.

So, it got me thinking how important it is for brown little faces like my children to see when reading books. I remember growing up all the books I read the lead characters were always portrayed as white and middle-class. This got me thinking about how damaging this was to myself and my peers; growing up to be bombarded by “smart, well adjusted teenagers” who always eventually knew what to do always being white. This made a little adolescent black teenager such as myself think that I can never be this well grounded and smart like these “white” characters I am always reading.

This brought so much memories of filling insecure about who I was and what the world thinks of. Now as a mother to two beautiful brown skinned children, I never want them to feel like this.

So this is why I chose writing, why I am aiming to fill the gap in the children’s book industry with more brown skin lead characters in our children’s books.

I hope you will help me to spread the love by sharing my stories with your children (brown or not) or anyone with children.

Until next time

Stay positive, stay humble, stay encouraged

Wambui Kibira

Why we should ALL create.

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

Its simple, we should all create because that’s what our creator does. He creates; take a child and its parent. The child will without the thought copy the parent, or whoever is around the child. If the parent is a carpenter, the child will become a carpenter; if the child is a lawyer then the child will most likely become a lawyer. It’s psychology, I think. But creating is part of us all, it’s what we are meant to do as humans.

From when we were children, the desire to create has already made shaped. From when we held our first crayon to having imaginary friends (if you have one of those growing up, you might be a writer).

Creating is innate; its part of us, and should be coming from our convictions from our beliefs to observations around our lives.

It’s also incarnational, this is how we are able to communicate our unfathomable reality/truths in words or pictures or sounds. Just like how God came down and became a man, He put the unfathomable, indescribable God into a human image.

It’s most definitely inspired, this is where our art is driven by what we see around us and ultimately this is God and His beauty manifesting into reality.

When we create it becomes iconoclastic. Art can leave an iconic mark on the world. But its important to use every aspect to create. You can love a particular genre of art but that doesn’t mean that you need to create for that genre solely. So, remember next time when you have a sudden urge to create.

Why are you creating? Is it to share what you’ve learned, heard or seen? Creating should be shared, you can not have a room full of books and imaginary characters talking in your head and not share what ‘they’re’ saying in a book. Or you can’t have so much emotions from something you’ve been through and overcome and not lay it all down on a canvas or beat. Maybe this is where mental illness comes to play, coming from depression; I had a ton of ideas but the negative thoughts overshadowed them to the point those ideas stayed inside my mind and died.

I found salvation in creating pieces that would emote what I was feeling. I stop listening to those negative thoughts and I just created and shared.

Creating becomes a release from the pressures of life. So, go out there guys and create. Let it all out and share what you created. Make sure you share it with me on instagram would love to see what you created.

Until next time stay positive, stay humbled, stay blessed

Wambui xoxo

For the love of poetry.

I remember when I started writing poetry, it was actually 3 years ago. At first I thought I couldn’t write poetry and that my writing was purely creative writing. Since I was trying at the time to whine myself from my writer’s block (remember from this post it’s not real). So, as a result I took the advise that I should try writing everything. And since I enjoy reading poetry I decided to take to writing too.

So, without wasting your time. Here’s a poetry I wrote back in February 2017. But before I share, in the comments down belong; tell me your favourite poets and which you would recommend me. Also connect with me on my social media instagram.

Enjoy the poem…

My kin, I can not say I have made it on my own. One thing I do, is not to replay my past but I draw tight for the upward call, which is ahead in sight.

Until next time.

Stay humbled, stay blessed and stay positive

Wambui Kibira

The problem with gender neutral.

I am probably the one who feels the need to speak about this topic even more so; I have a daughter and a son. And if you don’t know what gender-neutral parenting is, well its when two loving parents try to raise their “seed” without the confinement of gender stereotypes. For the record, I like that part of the method. However, here’s where I have a problem with. First, I have known my children a collective of 4 and half years. And within these years, I have seen how my daughter has blossomed into a confident young female. And though my son is only 2 years, I can see what type of man he will grow up to be. Now, I am not raising my children in a strict gender-neutral home but I do not have gender specific toys. My aim as a parent is to allow my children to find their truth with toys that will aide their learning and communication. Here’s an excellent example, my son plays with a baby doll (those anatomically correct baby dolls that look like a baby) and loves it so much he sleeps with it.  Now my 4 and half year-old daughter loves watching “PJ Masks” and “Paw Patrol”; two cartoon shows that a geared towards boys of her age group. My daughter still plays with her “Barbies” and loves anything girly like unicorns and sparkles, but her favourite colour is purple not pink. My son too, he loves cars and trunks and especially rough housing games. You could say they are a happy balanced of gender-neutral parenting.

Here’s where I believe this new parenting trend has gone too far. When you don’t tell your children their gender until they are 5 years with the hopes of them choosing their own gender when they are ready to be a boy or girl. I have news for you, your little “bubba” has already been assigned a gender and that happened in the womb at 4 weeks. It’s good for a parent to raise their off spring away from the gender stereotypical roles of society. I mean that’s my parenting aim; I sit in my living room watching tv every evening and I am yet to see a positive representation for both my children.

The world will tell our children, that boys must love football and girls must play with dolls and play dress up. But my problem is, if I allow your son to play with dolls and play dress up but not tell him he’s a boy; then you are setting him for gender confusion.

Secondly, it’s seems to me that society has created a hatred of genders. PERIOD. Not roles, but whether you are a boy or girl. There seems to be a fear nowadays of raising hyper sexualised females and males or even heavens forbid bigots. As if to say if you are born a boy you will develop to be a sexist bigot. Or if you are born a girl, you’ll grow to be a stay at home mum aka housewife where you simply just live for the joy of taking care of your husband and children 🙄😴.

If you haven’t figured it out already, I am raising a black man and dark-skinned black woman, and society has not been favourable to these types of people. Let’s digress for a minute, the #metoo movement was started to help women speak up about being sexually abused and bring the attacker to justice. Now, let’s talk about the black men who have been trailed and convicted on rape charges only to be discovered that no such attack happened. How about the #blacklivesmatter movement, this movement was started because black people in America were being treated unfairly by the police.

Ok, the point I am trying drive is that it’s not neither the colour nor gender of a person determines who they will become. But that of their character, I read someone- and thank God I read it while I was pregnant with my first. That it takes 7 years to develop a character, so in those 7 years parents or parent to be you must develop a character of a confident young man or woman. The aim I believe is not to desire your child to grow to choose a gender, but rather to desire a positive role he or she may want for themselves. It’s ok for your son to want to be a nanny or midwife (yes there are male midwives I met one) and your daughter to want to be a firefighter or footballer. These to me are what gender-neutral roles look like, and not dressing you children in blacks greys and whites because pinks are for girls and blues for boys.

Gender neutral parenting is meant to allow your children to find themselves together with finding comfort in their own genders. To realise that there are no jobs for men and women, and that all jobs can be done by everyone willing and capable.

So, if you’re looking to surround your seed in a gender-neutral environment, remember to also tell them it’s great to be a boy or girl.

Until next time,

Stay blessed, stay positive, stay humbled

Wambui

Burn out, is it a real thing?

Burn out, writer’s block, procrastination or the mouth full, stuck in a funk.  There is always a name for that feeling of not wanting to create. Of late I’ve been hearing these new buzz words going around, “burn out”. At first, I was what’s burning out? What causes this thing to burn out? How do you avoid this to happen? Then, I realised for the last 6 years I have experienced this “burn out”. Can I be honest with you? I believe it is not a real thing, no serious don’t go yet. Let me explain.

Burn out, to me is an excuse. Phew! So glad that’s out of my chest I feel lighter saying that.

No, serious. It is an excuse and, therefore.

So, you want to write that book but every time you turn on your laptop, computer and BLANK. Nothing comes out, no typing sounds, your notebook is still blank because you haven’t bothered to even jot down any ideas. Or you spend hours on YouTube watching amateur film makers recite their “exciting” lives for your entertainment (FYI I was being sarcastic). Telling yourself “I can do this”, so you buy the equipment to help you become the next Casey Nesitat; but they’re still sitting in the box which has only been opened once since delivery.

When the few people that know about your writing dream or YouTube dream ask you, “what happened to that book you were writing”? and “So how’s your YouTube channel going”? Seriously some of these questions that get asked. These are the questions that make you stay “burned out”, you panic and start thinking you will fail. As in, everyone is looking at me to write the next Harry Potter or become the next YouTube star.

I read somewhere (those “Limitless” moments) that George Orwell’s book 1984 was not a best-selling success when it initially came out. But it is now, imagine if George Orwell never bothered to write 1984. Or even release it to the public?

We now live at a time when you can virtually be a self-published anything. You can be the next George Lucas and release your awesome short film on YouTube- that’s how Issa Rae started out now look at her. Or your little book could be the next best seller.

You simply do not know where your efforts will take you if you never try. There’s a well-known story in the bible of Jesus walking on water, do you know that one of his disciples walked on water too? Yes, Peter he took the leap of faith when Christ called for him to join him on the water. Out of all the disciplines in the boat with him, he was the one that believed he could and now we still talk about the incredible thing that he did on that day.

Whatever you desire from your creations, it could be making things with your hand or even starting that book or YouTube channel. Stop giving yourself excuses and just do it. You seriously don’t know where your leap of faith will take you.

Oh, before I leave. Catch me on Instagram (wambui_kibira) I post my writing exercises there and you get to see my BTS of my life.

Until next week

Stay blessed, stay humbled and stay positive

Wambui xoxo

Why to simulate is to fail!

The beauty of standing out.

I struggled writing this article this week; why? I struggled with this, for the longest of times I thought I had to write what people wrote. When I decided to take up writing as a career, I was reading a lot of black literature and a lot of them were erotic 😄😛🙈. So, I naturally thought that’s what I should write since I am a Black writer and my books would fit the black literature genre. I quickly learned that I’m too shy to write erotic books. I have learned that when starting an author career, you need two things. The first grit, you need to have the ability of not giving up; you know the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. The second, time; you need time to show off your writing style. Ernest Hemingway’s work is renowned for its plain and sparing use of language, so a fan of his will be able to tell if a book is his or a Dan Brown. You just simply know these authors because they keep writing and bringing out the same body of work.

So, as I keep writing on this blog every week, I hope that my writing style will be established. Allowing time to define how I write this early on in my writing career is most important, I don’t want (luck of a better word) get lost in sauce of the growing number of authors. I’d like to believe that as you read any of my books you know you are ready a “WAMBUI KIBIRA” book. I want to write books that inspire and encourage people, and of course the occasion bout of laughter with my books.

As you, the reader takes this journey with me. I want you to see the growth from these early days of writing to when I become the East African Chimamanda Adiche. I guess what I am trying to say is, I am not willing to simulate; because this is to fail.

Until next time,

Stay humbled, stay blessed and stay positive.

Wambui

xoxo